Men versus Women
In Scott Sander’s essay “The Men We Carry in Our Minds…and How they Differ from the Real Lives of Most Men,” he lays out an interesting question- Is it harder to be a man or a woman? Throughout his essay, he shows that a huge part of the answer depends on the perspective of the reader.
Sanders writes, “it as if they’re [women] trying to overcome a million years, worth of evolution in one lifetime” (par 4). Anneke, a female friend of Sanders, offers a feminine point of view. She believes that it is much easier to be a woman in today’s society. Anneke states, “It’s much easier being the victim. All the victim has to do is break free. The persecutor has to live with his past” (par 7). This is just one example of how a person’s perspective influences their answer to a question.
I proposed Sander’s question to a male friend of mine. He had an answer almost immediately- it is much easier to be a female. To clarify he used the example of dating. During this activity, most of the decisions are made by the man leaving him under a lot of pressure. I personally do not know if this is true with the invention of “going Dutch”. However, I do know that the modern woman has it easier in many ways than our grandmothers.
Now women have many more opportunities available in how they choose to live their lives. The job market is more receptive to the idea of a working woman; in fact, some jobs are predominately female. Schools have opened their doors to the female student and now most classrooms are composed of equal amounts of the sexes.
So what do you think? Is it harder to be a man or woman in today’s world? And how much does perspective influence a person’s answer?
26 comments:
I believe that men used to be given more job opportunities and were expected to provide stability and income.
I believe that women used to be expected to take care of the household and raise the children on a relatively daily basis.
I believe that now that men can stay home and women go to work, there has been some confusion in roles.
Almost all the women I have talked to either have or want to have children. They also want a job. I beleive that women these days don't realize the amount to time and effort it will take to have a full time job and raise the kids.
This also leaves men in the awkward position of "what am I really doing, I don't need to work and I don't need to watch the kids, guess I'll just sit here and watch football," effectively stressing the woman out and essentially making the man worthless.
Society needs to find the roles for an effective partnership for a family, both need to have a role and both can not do everything.
Social roles depend a lot on a person's perspective, as Sanders shows.
Personally, I think it's a daily battle for anyone. Everyone faces their own letdowns, their own challenges, their own victories, no matter their sex. No one really has it easier.
While I'm not sure I'm interpreting what Matthew A has said correctly, I don't agree with what I did take from it. Are you saying that women (or men for that matter) need to have defined roles? One stay at home and raise the family, the other bring home the bacon? That sounds like a leap back to the "dark ages", so to say. If you're implying it should be individualized, according to that family's situation and/or preferences... I might agree with you then.
In my opinion, I feel that there really is no way to say that either sex has it easier than the other in today’s society.
One can really see how it would have been easier for females "back in the day" because the man was supposed to be able to provide and take care of his wife and kids and all women had to do was take care of the household. Granted house work is tedious it still was not the same as working until 7 at night in a factory.
In today’s society I think they are both equal in question of is it harder to be a man or a woman. This is because they both have tasks that are similar to each other. Like instead of the father providing the income for that household, the mother also goes to work early in the morning and gets home late at night to provide for the family. This just proves that with time people’s values change and they have different views on how people should act.
I totally disagree with you Matthew. There should be no roles for either the women or the man. Why should there be any roles? They both are equalled.
The statement you made about women wanting children and wanting a job, unaware of the "amount of time and effort it will take to have full time jobs and raise the kids." What are you trying to say? From my understanding you are saying that working full time jobs and raising children are too much for a woman to want to do.
My mother was a single parent and she raised both me and my older brother while working two jobs. She is a great mother and remarkable women. She was able to do both and still is doing both. She always had more than enough time and love to give to my brother and me.
So women and men don't need roles in a marriage or relationship, and society is not who defines what "roles" should be in a relationship. That what's wrong with the world now, too concerned with sociey's opinion. Who cares what society has to say, who are they? Nobody, thats who! The only "roles" they need to have is to never forget they are equals.
I believe that it goes hand in hand. There are things that guys have to deal with that females don't and vice versa. Females have to deal with the sterotypes that they recieve do to the articles of cloths they were down to if they are wearing make-up. Since that pressure is on females if a female runs late in the morning she gets stressed because she wont be able to get ready in time. Men on the other hand like your friend stated on first dates they have to deal with the stress of aranging everything while all the female has to worry about is if her hair is done or she has a flattering outfit on. So I believe that is swings both ways.
Aunikka, I'm sure if your mother had had the choice, she would have really appreciated some help with a career or taking care of children. I'm not saying its impossible for a woman to have a job and take care of kids, but it takes away a lot of stress to be able to have a partner who helps every step of the way.
Society, the media, other people, do have an influence on our lives whether we want them to or not. Each person is given a choice of what they want to do. But in a marriage and a family both parents can't do everything without there being some hang up with time, money, relationships. I'm not saying its totally impossible or even wrong, but life would be much easier for people if they did apply roles to their lives, no matter they are. Women can work and men can stay home, it doesn't matter. But roles are important to an effective family, your mother just had to play all of them. She did it well according to you and thats good. But I'm sure it would have been easier for her, and less stressful if she had had a partner to work with.
I think it is cheaper to be a man and expensive to be a woman. Still I think its harder to be a man than a woman. Less pressure is put on women to prosper but men are pressured to dominate through intelligence.
To Mattew A, a man and woman should both work together in raising their children. Am not going to school for these numbers of years to be a stay home mother. Society has changed, women are becoming more educated thus rising children should be a cooperate work. The children need their father as much as their mother. Balancing work and children is stressful for one parent because it’s a job that should be shared equally by two.
Each family member should take roles that best fits that family.
Each family member should take roles that best fits that family.
I may be misunderstanding, but isn't that exactly what Matthew's saying? Having clearly defined roles is helpful; it's efficient. I don't think that has to mean that the woman's role is always to stay home and raise the kids, or that, if she does stay home, the father has no responsibility for the kids.
Society alone shouldn't prescribe what men's and women's roles should be, but that doesn't mean having roles is a bad idea. It's just dividing the labor.
Compared to decades ago, yes women have it much easier, because there was a time when we weren't even allowed to vote.
However, there is still a little infereiority towards women today. we are still told that "a woman shouldn't be doing a man's job." and believe it or not, some of that comes from religious matters.
For example, there are those who believe that women do not belong in the pulpit, sending the message of God's word.
So I have to say yes and no to the question of women having it "easier"
Of course its harder to be a man because so much is expected out of them. Especially from a traditional point of view. The man is expected to work and make a living and to fix all of the errors around the house and problems in general. While the woman does what she wants to do. Normally just spending all of the money that he's worked very hard for.
I think that men and women should share roles. Men are as much capable of taking care of children,cleaning, and cooking as women. I dont think that there should be separate roles. I think that men and women have equal opportunities in society now.
I disagree with Matthew A. My mother had a full time job and 5 kids to take care my father had a full time job as well, but there was never confusion about their roles. My mom usually came home first and started dinner, made sure we did our homework etc. Then when my dad came home he was the disciplinarian and made sure that we helped out our mom.
Woman and Men know what is involved when they have a job and family that’s why people say that marriage is full of compromises.
I think to avoid confusion the couple should talk before their married or before they take a job and make sure that they will have enough time for them and their kids.
I don't believe one gender or the other has it easier in today's society, but I do believe that men and women have some sort of "traditional" role to perform.
In today's society, women and men both work hard to provide for their family. Since early times, women have been taking care of their chilren, so women still follow that role and still provide for their children. I know its hard for women because they try as hard as they can to make sure their children are clothed, fed, etc, and go to work at the same time.
I don't think perspective has much to do with a person's answer. Men and women both know how hard it is in today's society to provide for their family and work at the same time.
Kayla, you are right when you say that Scott Sanders posed an interesting question: Is it harder to be a man or a woman? Although women have come far from what our grandmothers endured in the past, I still believe that women have it easier within society. The vision that a woman’s place is in the home and the man’s place is working is still dominant is still dominant is some people’s minds. It’s true that there are female dominated jobs and there are an equal number of men and women in the, but what you have to look at it what kind of job that is dominated by women. Those jobs may be something like nursing, child care, or education, things that take a lot of patience and a more maternal view on situations.
I don't think that there should be a discussion about wheter is more difficult to be a man or a woman in today's society, because the roles of men and women complete each other. There are some skills that are more present among women and some that are more present among men, so both men and women have crucial roles and responsibilities in today's society.
I agree with Kristen that today women and men are treated equally. Women provide for their families just as much as men do nowadays.
I don't think it harder to be a man or a woman I think it depends upon the situation that one is in taht makes life hard.
In general one faces hardships in life regardless of sex. In today's society I don't really think that it is about if one is a man or a woman it depends more on what one does in life and the type of individual that a person is.
I believe that women still have work harder to achieve their goals in our modern lives. You said some jobs are mainly women such as teahing, but you have to undertand women have almost always played the role of teaching. In some work forces a women still doesn't equal up to men, as I said before they have to work harder just to be on that level as a man.So I believe men still have it easy when it comes to the working environment.
Personally I believe that it is harder to be a man, for women we can not succeed in alot of things and still be looked at as "she's doing the best she can" but in a man aspect they are considered to be a failure.
Perspective is everything. How you view things is generally how you claim they are. Men have a hard role to play, but so do women. Men were primarily providers. Women were primarily caretakers. These days those roles are reversed because they can be. Women are the primary provider in families and men are the caretakers of the home and family. Both play a role in protecting others, but in different modes. All that really matters is how you see the problem, because thats what the problem is.
In today society it is just as hard to be a woman as it is does to be a man. Both men and women face things our grandparents never encountered. More opportunities for women have improved over the years. Some jobs are still sexiest against women. Most jobs they know what they're looking for and it doesn’t matter weather it’s a women or a man as long as they meet the requirements. I believe for the most part it's equal opportunity!
I disagree with you Brandon. In today's society I don't think that there is more expectations towards men.
Women are also the ones who have to deal with pregnancies, carry a baby inside of them for 9 months. They also have periods each month. I really think women have it harder than men.
I agree it is easier to be a woman in todays society. Although there is still some gender descrimnation in the job field. Think about in schools there are more benifits from being a girl you have more scholarships for one thing when trying to get into college, and remember that women weren't even allowed to go to college for a long time.
There have been some really interesting points made here. It's very encouraging to see so much discussion.
Since the women's liberation and feminist movement, "roles" have been somewhat confused. By "roles" I mean what each sex should be doing to make family life run smoothly.
Traditionally, Men were expected to be the bread-winners. They were the ones who worked the long hours in the factory, office, etc. Women were the homemakers. They cooked, cleaned, and generally took care of the children. On top of this, they usually were expected to bee social butterflies, organizing dinner parties and social events.
Today, more and more men are "stay-at-home" dads and the women are the bread-winners. Of course, there are the families in which both parents work and try to raise the children.
But who does have it harder?
Many men today are confused as to what they need to be doing. Should they work? Should they stay home with the kids? But if they stay with the kids, will their friends think less of them? These are some of the things men have to deal with in their minds. Like Matthew said, it leaves them in an awkward position. And I'll add that it leaves them self-contious and feeling "unmanly."
Women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to work, but they want kids as well. As Matthew said, they don't realize how much time it takes. Women end up stressed out from work and come home and take it out on the hubby and kids.
Then there is the problem of sexual harrassment at work. It is a problem for both sexes. God designed men and women in such a way that they would desire each other. If two people of the opposite sex are working long hours together, there is a good chance that there will be sparks. Whether the feeling is mutual or not, the fact is that someone will eventually act on the sparks. This leads to more stress and possible marital problems. Office affairs have become more prominent.
In conclusion, I have to agree with the people who said that it is equally hard for both sexes.
I beleive that it is hard for men amd women to live in today's world. I believe this because most men and women have a hard time trying to make sure that they are not gettint into trouble with the police.
They are also trying to take care of their family if they are single parents.
Really, i dont think you can say a man or womans life is harder than the other. Men struggle with some things women dont know about and women struggle with things that men dont know about, so I dont think you can say one is harder than the other.
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