To Smile or Not to Smile
Smiling is considered a gift. It is given to each and everyone of us as sign of happiness. So if we aren't happy, why smile?
In Anny Cunningham's essay, "why women smile" she tells her audience that women are required smile regardless of whether they are happy or half-dead. (a little exaggeration). when a woman is feeling lonely, sad, she must hide her feelings and smile to keep sane, but why?
When I finished reading Cunningham's essay, I felt like I was supposed to be deprived of my emotions because my gender requires an emotion that says, "I'm happy" whether I am or not. It is not okay for me to feel sad, or get angry because like Cunningham says, "Your real emotions are not welcomed here". Fortuantely, I wasn't because God gave women emotions to show how we feel, so that others will respond.
Women are emotional, it is who we are, it is what we do. Our emotions is what got us rights to work and vote. We didn't smile at the fact that men work their hardest to make us feel inferior, or refuse to let us be heard, we fought back angrily, happily, and showed every bit of it.
So why hide what we feel? Showing our emotions reflects who we are. There is no crime in that.
What do you think?
25 comments:
Shekinah I completely agree with you on your stand that women shoud have the right to smile or frown or cry or jump for joy whever they want to. If we're not feeling happy, why should we smile? It makes no sense to me either. I love the statement that you made about how we got our rights and made a stand in this country because of our emotions. I completely agree with you. By showing our emotions we are letting people know our true feelings...not hiding them
I agree that women should show their emotion and not have fake smiles all time.
However, aren't men also expected to "suck it up" and "be a man" when they are struck with emotions.
To make emotions a singularly female thing seems kind of narrow minded. Men also have many emotions they forced to hide, maybe not with smiles all the time, but maybe with anger and aggression.
I agree with Matthew about what he said. I have always wondered why men have to act "tough" all of the time. For example, it really does baffle me to see men at funerals and see that they show no emotion at all, just a blank stare. I understand that everyone shows their emotions at funerals differently, but that was just an example of what I am trying to say. I really do not understand why we (humans) should feel the need to hide our emotions. When I feel an emotion, I am not going to waste my energy trying to hide it, but that is who I am. I feel like Anny Cunningham's essay was a great example of how people see emotions. Why do people always think women should be happy? Why should men never cry? I really liked her essay, because it made me think about those types of questions.
I agree with you Matthew, I liked the point you introduced of men being required to "stuck it up" all the time. I also agree that women are expected to smile and be "happy go lucky" individuals. So, in that sense both men and women are expected to be someone or act a certain way, which may sometimes differ from thier actual emotions.
I don't beleive that males should always be expectd "to suck up" situations. I don't think females should always smile, either. I think men and women both should "suck up" certain situations. This is not becasue I expect them to but because I don't think people should cry or freak out at the drop of a dime. "Sucking up" some situations are good for both sexes.
I watched a movie in my sociology class; a woman from Harvard conducted an experiment to see as babies if girls have more emotions than boys. In the experiment when the mothers stop interacting with the child, it was shown that the boys would cry while the girls would turn their head without crying.
Saying that men don’t have emotions is nothing but a lie. It takes emotions to be aggressive and tough. In other words, men are as emotional as women; they just express them in a different way.
I agree with you Shekinah on the fact the women should not hide there emotions. But on the other hand i agree with matthew when he says that men are expected to not be affected by emotions.
But what if a smile is the expression of any emotion?
No one can say that they smile exactly the same every time they do. There are different smiles; happy, content, laughing, unsure, angry, upset. Smiles can just as well hide an emotion as display it.
Popular culture indicates there's only one smile, that beautiful, bright happy smile. Smiles can mean more than just "I'm happy."
I don't believe that there is any reason to force yourself to not smile if you are feeling an emotion that would normally require one, but most men are rasied that there are particular times that emotions are okay to express, and that there are some times that they are inappropriate. This could just be a product of child-rearing.
Shekinah i agree that women should show their emotions. I also feel that if women didn't show their emotions it wouldn't leave a lot of people mixed up about how they should receive a person. For example everytime you see a person they smiling in your face but let the truth be told they can't stand you. It is imperative that women do and always show their emotions!
I totally agree with brandon because if females don't show their emotions or get their point across then a lot a feelings will be hurt. I know if I don't were my smile people will wonder what is wrong.I feel if I don't that should not matter I am still tammy with a smile or a frown.
I totally agree with brandon because if females don't show their emotions or get their point across then a lot a feelings will be hurt. I know if I don't were my smile people will wonder what is wrong.I feel if I don't that should not matter I am still tammy with a smile or a frown.
I agree with you Shekinah. I think we shouldn't hide what or how we feel. Back then before women had the right to vote, they didn't sit there and smile. They wanted to be heard and wanted the same rights as men, so they fought to get it.
Hiding our feelings would only make us feel worse in my opinion. I believe if women feel bothered, upset, or even sad, they should speak their mind and not feel deprived of their "womanhood".
I agree with you Shekinah about Cunningham's essay. To some people a smile on a woman is a normal occurrence and a frown or even a neutral expression is out of the ordinary, but women don’t feel like smiling all the time, women have several emotions. Cunningham could also be telling how smiling is used to hide our other emotions, like it doesn’t matter how a woman feels but it’s a woman’s job to smile, because their smile might make someone else happy. Women should be able to freely show their emotions freely, because like men, women are not always happy.
I to agree with you Shekinah. Why should we be required as women to hide one of our most prized possessions? It’s not fair to women. I also agree with Felicia if we hold in our feelings they are eventually going to come out but in a harsher way. I can recall many occasions when I decided to hold in my feelings but only to have a psychotic out burst at the wrong time and at the wrong place.
Why should women have to smile? I totally agree with Shekinah because women shouldn't have to smile if that is not how they are feeling at the moment. Men are also expected to hide their emotions. Matthew said that men are expected to "suck it up" and I definetly agree with that because men are required to be strong.
In my opinion people are going to have emotions but not all go about the same way of showing them. Some people dont wont the world knowing there pissed off or having a bad day. Everybody tends to be self concious when it comes to their own feelings.
I agree that women should have the right to have emotions, as should men. But women do hide their feelings...and I often find myself smiling because if I don't, I'll get asked, "what's wrong?" or "what's the matter?" even when nothing is wrong at all!
well i am not a women but men do smile even when everything in the world is wrong. They must to prove that they are strong and can handle things themselves. But yes i agree that women should be able to express their feelings at anytime also. But it would be much harder for a man to express how he feels do to the problems of ridicule of others.
I agree with you Shekinah, Women should be able to smile when we are happy, cry when we are sad, etc. I don't know why we should have to show an emotion(s)that we aren't currently feeling. In fact, hiding our emotions aren't really showing who we are in any aspect.
Does the lack of expression really make us feel any less? Just because your face doesn't match your feeling doesn't make it any less real. I agree in that people shouldn't be pushed to hide emotions, as it promotes more than one negative stereotype. However, simply because the lines around your eyes show one thing, doesn't mean the truth isn't there. People feel regardless of what is on their face, and they do this because we're human.
I think some people have brought up some good points. I think women should show their emotions when they are feeling them. If you are happy smile sometimes, and if you are sad don't put on a show.
I agree with matthew because men are stereotyped with the "be strong" attitude. I also think that Brandon S. brings up a good point. Men are raised in a different way than women. I always was told you have to be there for the woman you love like be there as a shoulder to cry on, and to do that you have to be strong and supportive.
I agree with you Wendy. There are different kind of smiles.
I think it is more in America's culture that women are used to cover their emotions by smiling. I think it's a fact that America is a well-known country from its' smiling people. Sometimes those smiles can nevertheless be more or less fake smiles.
In Finland people don't smile as much people do here. In Finland there aren't such things as fake smiles.
I agree with most of the comments here. Society expects women to brighten the mood by smiling and men to be the strongtower when all Hell breaks loose.
But what about our own expectations? Do not women expect themselves to take on the responsibility for making everyone happy and comfortable? And do not men expect themselves to be strong and calm in all situations?
I couldn't agree more with you. Women are emotional we can't help the way we feel and the way we express our selves. Some women are more emotional than others. A course if someone says hey to us (woman) our response is to smile as if nothing was going own. We all put on a "front" every now a then. Know one wants to be mean to someone because their not having a good day, even men. Women just tend to smile more and not really be happy.
I also agree with you Shekinah. I think women are suppose to smile all the time. Their so emotional and full of joy. In certain circumstances their is a time to smile and a time not to smile. My opinion is that women should always have an smile on their face.
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