Is it Apathy or Fear of Embarrassment?
Do we not complain because of apathy or because we do not want to cause a scene.
Many simply don’t care enough to get things fixed. They would rather just let things be because it is simply too much of a hassle to try to change the situation people have “given up trying to rectify irrational vexations” (par. 4). Yes, they might be uncomfortable but not enough that they want to go and get someone to fix the problem like the heat on the train that Buxley mentioned in his essay “Why Don’t We Complain?” They just don’t want to waste the time or energy to complain or ask for something to be done to fix the problem.
Many hate to cause a scene. They don’t like the feeling of people staring at them and thinking why is that person doing that can they not just deal with it. People hate to be seen as a person who always complains. “We are all increasingly anxious in America to be unobtrusive” (par. 8) people in general don’t want to cause a scene because they fear embarrassment. Children especially hate to be embarrassed and tell their parents to ignore it and not complain. Most children have been embarrassed by their parents complaining about one thing or another in a restaurant or store.
Do we as a group fear embarrassment for stating our opinions or is that we no longer care enough to get things the way we want them to be?
5 comments:
Rachel, I beleive that we as a group do fear the possible embarassment for stating our opinions. But I do not think we no longer care, I beleive that most people are 'scared' to voice their opinion in public because they do not know what the reaction of the people surrounding them will be, so at the time it may be more polite to just stay quite.
I agree with you Adam. I also think that we as a group try to stay quite on most occasions to keep from being embarrassed or humiliated in front of a group of people.
I once went on a trip to Louisiana with a church group (10-15 people). Before we began we stopped for breakfast. When my meal arrived it was not what I ordered; however, I did not comment. When lunch time came around again I did not get the correct order. By supper time we stopped at Applebee's for a ‘sit down’ meal. I ordered my meal and waited 30 minutes for it to arrive. Every other person in our group was done eating by this time. I was exasperated and resigned to my fate. However, my friends were feed up and demanded to see the manager. In the end, I got my steak for free. The point is I would have never spoken up because I did not want to make a scene.
I understand what you are saying Kayla, you didn't want to make a scene about your order. I use to not complain but over time I learned that complaining actually made me feel better. When things would go wrong, not work how they are suppose to or my food orders come back wrong I would complain to my friends but never someone who could actually make a difference. Over the past summer i had a friend who always liked to boss me around just because I was younger than her. I would be so aggravated and angrey but I never said anything, not wanting to cause a problem. One day I got tired of her and all her unwanted opinions and told her how i felt. The choice i made to complain to her, was the best thing i did! It made me feel 10x better and she stopped being so pushy. When something or someone bothers you nothing is wrong with stating how you feel, if that means being a complainer than so be it!
I agree with you Adam. I feel there we are so scared of making a scene that instead of speaking what is on our mind we just stay quiet. I think that when needed we should not be affraid of making scene. If we do not stand up for what we believe in then who will?
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