Where's my motivation?
After reading Rachel Toor’s essay “Confessions of a Recovering Admissions Officer” concerning college applications and the student’s who lie on them, I felt unconvinced. When I looked at the bare subjects she was addressing and her opinions on the cheating, I wholeheartedly agreed. However, despite the fact that I agreed with the information doesn’t mean that I believe it would convince anyone else. Convince them to change sides on the issue or even take action to improve the way college applications are designed. Therefore, I think there are a few things Toor could have done differently to make a stronger case.
Firstly, Toor needs to sound more confident on her stance by showing a little more strength in her writing. She wrote about how she felt betrayed by the applicants because she cried about the lie written on an application. Most people do not have experience reading thousands of applications, especially papers that are sentimental and personal from people they do not know. I could not relate to her dilemma and so I could not see her point. Another thing she could have done differently was find some hard copy statistics from research or newspapers. Using personal experience can only take a writer so far before it starts to sound like pure opinion. I hope that colleges do accept more open means of application and encourage activities that are productive for all types of people. Toor’s essay would not motivate me to take action.
5 comments:
I totally agree with Matthew. I think that Rachel Toor as well as Bruffee did not have hard evidence of what they were trying to get across. Toor only gave her personal life experiences. I would not have been motivated to change an application format or to change the way applications were read. I think that with more proof of what she was trying to get across might have changed the outcome of the essay.
I agree with you Matthew, the points that she was trying to make within her essay were not very convincing at all. Everything that she kept stating was based only on personal opinion. Yes, her arguement was legitimate to a degree but there were no hard core facts to back her arguement up. Just because it was like that in her case doesn't mean that she can prove that it is like that at every university.
I agree with you Matthew, our two blogs are very similiar. I wrote about Bruffee, but we both think these authors don't have enough evidence to support their ideas.
I really agree with Matthew. Toor's essay didn't really have any hard conclusive evidence. She just mainly used her personal experience. I have never really did anything with applications but fill a few of them out. So the only way you could really understand her was if you always work with applications.
Proof in such a profession is often hard to come by. The applications she'd read as an officer were probably out of her hands as soon as she quit, and sealed up somewhere. As to outside evidence, its true she could quite easily find some to back up her points. All in all though, she uses her experience to make a point on an emotional level, not necessarily factual. Sometimes that can be just as effective.
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