Wednesday, January 17, 2007

MAKE New Friends

Kenneth A. Bruffee states in his article “Binge Drinking as a Substitute for a ‘Community of Learning’,” that the reason why first year students join fraternities and sororities is because they lack friendship and it is the only way to get any friends. Therefore, that is where the binge drinking comes into place. I beg to differ on many levels, but I agree on others. There are plenty of opportunities to make friends in classrooms and activities.
Not all first year students join fraternities or sororities because of the reputation that they hold. A group of students that join are the ones that are on “mom and dad’s money” and they could care less about the education. They just want to have the social aspects that colleges offer. Bruffee’s basis of his argument was based on personal experience. Not all teachers denounce their students and not all students feel alone. I know plenty of students that are here and they make friends within the classrooms and they are happy and content. They are not part of a fraternity or sorority.
The way that Bruffee portrayed college students was extremely harsh in my book. I didn’t come to college lost with nowhere to go. I did have friends from my hometown that came, but I made more friends in my classrooms than I had before. I am not part of a sorority and I know I have true friends that I have met this year at Lander. I met my friends in my classes that are part of my major. The first thing we had in common was our major, but we were able to talk about what we wanted to do after Lander and we then got into other topics of both of our interests. If I was a high school student reading that article, I would be terrified of college no matter what walk of life I came from. Even if the high school student was a drinker or not, they would think the only way to fit in as a part of a fraternity or sorority is to be an active drinker.
Yes, Bruffee is right in many aspects and his information is true for some people. He was right in that fact that first year students come to college unsure about a lot of things and wanting to fit in with the other students. But it’s not true for all. So he should have explained it better within the article.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sara i totally agree with your views on Bruffes article. He should have had more facts thatn his "own" personal experince. His experince was bad that I agree with him on. I also agree that friends are readily made in the classroom already. Having a major in common is an easy way to make friends. Not only is the major the same but I'm sure you have similarities already if your both in the same major.

Anonymous said...

I also agree with this post. I know many people here in college who are happy and make great friends without having to be in a sorority or fraternity. I think that Bruffee should have gotten some type of statistics to make his point more convincing. He just added what he went through and he saw when he was in school. I think that if people want they can make friends being or not in some kind of organization. Most importantly I think that a person's personality and way of being helps him or her make friends.

Anonymous said...

I agree that he should have used a little more research in his essay, however, I think his work hits home for most people. I know of a lot of my friends from high school that are having the same problems as Bruffee brought forth, me included. I would agree with riv because if I had a major right now i think a could meet a lot more friends because you would see the same people over and over again in different classes. This makes it easier to get to know other. I have not seen many people that were in my classes except for a few here and there.

Anonymous said...

Sara I also agree with you about Bruffes article. I am a transfer student and I came to Lander knowing more people than I did when I attended the other University. I am not in a sorority and I also know why I came to college in the first place. I have also made friends and met new people since starting school last week.

Anonymous said...

Someone once said 'what you see depends on what you are looking for'. This statement relates to Bruffee's article "Binge Drinking as a Substitute for a Community of Learning". One might argue that freshmen come to college with their minds already set on what will happen. Some arrive at college optimistic about the future and ready to make friends; other freshmen arrive on campus with a sense of dread or forbearing. If freshman come to college looking for fun and parties then chances are they will join a sororitiy or fraternity. However, if a person enters college mainly focused on the academic standpoint then they will probably take longer finding friends. Perhaps Bruffee undermines students willpower.

Anonymous said...

I agree Bruffee was very dogmatic in his approach when discussing the fraternity and sorority's. Certainly everyone who joins either of them don't always have the intention to do wild and crazy things. But more importantly i honestly believe that hardly anyone would join just to meet new friends it's a whole lot cheaper to meet them around campus.

Anonymous said...

I agree with brandon's comment, if you HAVE to join a sorority or fraternity to find friends, then its not a matter of binge drinking at all. Bruffe states that students drink to fit in. If thats the case then you can drink with any of the other groups of people who binge drink on a regular basis, not just sorority's can fraternities. If you want shallow drinking buddies then you can find them anywhere.

Anonymous said...

The main problem with Bruffee's essay seems to be his generalization of the college freshman's experience. I have to say, I don't fault Bruffee for generalizing the college experience. He can't possibly cover every type of freshman experience and end up with an essay that has any force to it. If he covered every possibility, the essay would be too long for its purpose and too vague if it was kept short.

Anonymous said...

I completly agree with you Sara. I came to Lander with no friends at all. However, I was not scared or lonely. I was excited to make new friends. Thus, I agree that Bruffee was very judgemental about college freshmen and should do more research.

Anonymous said...

I also agree with the post. A lot of freshmen (or anyone else) who joins fraternities and sororities are not always doing it for the friends but maybe for the "club" itself. I know, personally, growing up with family members who are Greek inspires you in a way to be just like them. You're not joining for the friends. It's more like an aspiration or desire. Although more friends "come with the package", they're not the reason everyone joins any club.

Anonymous said...

Bruffee is only using his experience, to advocate something that he thought was a big problem for him in college. Maybe he did binge drink after joining his fraternity, his article doesn’t say. Bruffee is only trying to prevent something that happened to him from happening to someone else.

Anonymous said...

Like most here, I agree with you as well. After me and my roommate read this we had a discussion about how even though we both went to high school together we found it very easy to make friends without fraternities and sororities. Granted, my roommate is in a sorority, but I even have friends who are part of it. In my opinion, it was not that difficult to make friends because Lander groups each freshman by their major, so you are bound to make friends. I mean if you think about it you are going to be spending the next four to five years with these people, so it is good to get to know them! I feel that Bruffee really did not research his points that well. Like some others said, he may have been speaking from his own personal experience, but most college freshmen have no trouble making friends without having to join fraternities and sororities, or any club at that.

Anonymous said...

I, too, disagree with Bruffee’s reasoning for why college students join fraternities and sororities, which leads to student-binge drinking. Agreeing with your statement that many of the sorority and fraternity member’s, who’s parents pay for their way, are only at college to gain a social status, I also think that other students, who are at college in order to learn, focus mainly on their class-work, whether they are a member of a sorority/fraternity or not. Sure, it is hard for some people to find friends at college, but a student who attends college in order to accomplish their goals should not stress out over finding new friends. Myself for example, by living at home (Belton), I am at a disadvantage when it comes to meeting new friends, but that doesn’t bother me because I’m satisfied having the same friends as I always have. Sure, I would like to meet new friends but I do not need new friends badly enough to binge-drink. The way that I see it is: if someone has to do something, no matter what it is, that they do not want to do in order to gain someone else’s friendship, then they aren’t really gaining that person’s friendship; Friends will be your friends no matter what actions you make or don’t make.

Anonymous said...

Sara I agree with your post. I know personally I didn't have to join a sorority to meet friends or to fit in. Like you said in your post it's extremely easy to meet friends especially those that are in the same major.